A Dating Confessional

Photo Finish, Part Two

2010-06-01T14:22:00.008+02:00

A stranger in a new land, I was navigating unfamiliar terrain on every front. The oddest of the new experiences was my baby-step into dating in a new culture. We left off with his dating history being pressed between the sheets of a photo album and nothing happening between the sheets in his bed...and it gets better...One of the ways I grounded myself in my new world was to cook. Old habits

A Photo-Finish, Part One

2010-05-17T19:27:00.000+02:00

For years I met weekly with two girlfriends for breakfast and long talks about all things related to our respective lives. We supported one another through marriages, births, deaths, divorces and everything in between. Two of us, now recently divorced, slowly tip-toed into dating. One, older and braver than I, had started explore online dating. As I prepared to move to France, she offered an

Mr. Lying-Sack-of-Shit

2010-05-03T07:05:00.002+02:00

He said he was part owner in the new trendy restaurant that had opened downtown. He was not. He said he had connections to art galleries and could get a painter friend of mine in. (No, not that painter.)He did not. He said he said he was a gold medal winner in an obscure sport. He was not. I really should have run away from this guy like my hair was on fire before the first "hello".

The New Yorker Gets Me Every Time

2010-04-26T19:32:00.002+02:00

He was a musician and actor. Another set-up by a mutual friend. From the outset, I found him to be very intelligent, wildly funny, a talented pianist, and affectionate in a rather sweet way. What's more: he subscribed to The New Yorker. (I will overlook countless minor faults for this!) His self-effacing humor charmed me, as is often the case when it comes to that awkward, boyish demeanor. (

The Angry Poet

2010-04-20T20:00:00.001+02:00

We first exchanged glances, and then a brief introductory conversation, at the party of a mutual friend. I found him to be charming and attentive in a not-too-cloying fashion. He also had a sense of style that smacked of a European gene – which I later discovered to be accurate. He’d been in the US for many years but was originally from Europe, moving to Canada as a teenager. (He had me at "

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

2010-04-12T14:18:00.007+02:00

Ah yes, I did live...and learn. But friends began to worry as I grieved that last one. It took me quite some time to figure out what I was grieving. (Hint: It was not about him. More on that later, dear readers. We are going somewhere with this!) The people who loved me didn’t see this ending as much of a loss, but I was heartbroken. In an effort to push me beyond my sniffling, they began to

Live By The Sword, Die By The Sword

2010-03-29T19:14:00.001+02:00

I can safely say that karma is a bitch. I can also say that in my experience there is such a thing as Love At First Sight. We both felt it the moment we met. That electrical charge that buzzes up the spine and says "Oh my god! Where have you been all my life?!" We talked about it later...years later, when we began a relationship that would last for several years.We were both therapists so

The Things People Say Thursday: Culture Shock

2010-03-25T14:36:00.008+01:00

An American woman confiding in her French friend about her adjustment in France:"To be honest, I didn't know what was going on. Men on the street would grunt or groan or give a slow hiss as they passed me shoulder to shoulder. At first I thought, 'Is something wrong? Is he in pain?' And then I realized: they were flirting!"Ah yes, seduction has many faces...and sounds!photo courtesy of

Running in Place

2010-03-16T11:10:00.004+01:00

A note to my dear readers to let you know work and suchlike has taken a bite out of my time in the past week and has me running. After some much-needed organizing and catching up, I'll be back in the Sunday Confessional and we'll take it from there.Thanks for your patience in the meantime.See you Sunday!Gabbyphoto courtesy of CreativeCommons ©anasantos

The Sunday Confessional: Ding Dong!

2010-03-14T17:38:00.005+01:00

Dear Gabby,I was once dating two women at the same time. I showed up at the door of one of the women with a bottle of wine and flowers as we had planned an "evening in". If you know what I mean. Problem was, I was at the wrong woman's house. Was she ever surprised to see me! And with wine and flowers, no less. So I made excuses to cover my mistake by telling her that I had been thinking about

Monsieur Moneybags

2010-03-08T07:06:00.001+01:00

Let us stay in the international field - because I did. (Preparation, perhaps, during the last few years in California before I moved abroad.) Monsieur Moneybags carried himself with a royal air. A bit aloof, he stood above the crowd, figuratively and literally, at over six feet of handsome European stock. The soft tones in which he spoke hid a booming deep voice, but I always imagined he

The Sunday Confessional: A Runner's World

2010-03-07T12:05:00.006+01:00

Dear Gabby,When I was going through my divorce, I would use my morning 10-mile run as a means for working through my anger. I'm not usually a violent person and I had trouble speaking up to my commodities trader soon-to-be ex. Every time my foot hit the ground, I just imagined it was making contact with his face. Smash! Smash! Smash!It really brought a new dimension to my running. AnonDear

The Things People Say Thursday: So That's Life!

2010-03-04T10:47:00.005+01:00

“Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat.”Anaïs Nin, French-born American author(Not only do I want to truly know Life, I want to squeeze every drop out of it!)photo courtesy of CreativeCommons ©bencrowe

Herr Cranky-Pants

2010-03-01T09:40:00.000+01:00

And now my first foray into the international playing field. A German gentleman, Herr Cranky-Pants displayed his creative temperament with lots of style. This veritable billboard of casual fashion ease displayed a particular put-together messy look that you simply don’t see in American men very often. (Perhaps due to missing a particular gene for that certain je ne sais quoi.) To top it off, he

The Sunday Confessional: The Crystal Heist

2010-02-28T10:03:00.001+01:00

It's Sunday morning, dear readers, and Appreciative Reader needs a compassionate ear. Gabby is listening...Dear Gabby, I'm glad I'm not the only one out there! I never told anyone but the last time my boyfriend threatened to break up with me, I took one of his cherished Steuben crystal wine goblets. I had never done anything like that before. I never even thought of anything like that before

Things People Say Thursday: When Women Talk Sports

2010-02-25T10:53:00.002+01:00

Yes, dear readers, we talk sports, too. I offer this exchange that took place during a recent girls' morning out at the local café. (Okay, go ahead and call it a cougars' coffee chat. Whatever.)Green Tea: "Have you seen any of the Olympics?"Café au Lait: "Yes! And how cute are Apolo Ohno and Shaun White?!"Green Tea: "I'd do either one of them!"(Note to self: Switch to green tea....for health

Wednesdays With Warren: Equal Rights?

2010-02-23T12:35:00.005+01:00

We're taking a look at the complexity of date-rape today. Always important to stay conscious (literally and figuratively) of the inherent risks in having a little (or too much) fun. There are plenty of areas in which I take great delight in poking a little friendly fun at Dr. Farrell but I happen to lean in his direction (and I mean that in the most respectful way) on this issue:From an interview

Does That Make Me Cra-azay?

2010-02-22T12:48:00.000+01:00

He was a handsome child psychiatrist. I used to see him at the local coffee house among a murder of men. (See “crows, collective”.)I didn’t find him particularly interesting...until he began a pursuit, which I found interesting. We started going out. In the getting-to-know-you phase, he began a detailed account of his last relationship with a woman whom he repeatedly

The Sunday Confessional: Scratch This!

2010-02-21T10:07:00.001+01:00

A moment of silence, please. We have our first confessor.Welcome, Anonymous. Gabby is listening...:Gabby forgive me for I have sinned...I broke up with a guy (okay, he dumped my ass) and when I returned his CD's I had taken a pin and scratched every one of them. I was in the middle of a healing process. Still messed up enough to think I owed it to him to return them - but healthy enough to ruin

The Things People Say Thursday: Sarah Smile!

2010-02-18T09:03:00.000+01:00

In a recent interview, Sarah Silverman said this about her new beau, Alec Sulkin:"I think he's the first guy in a decade who's given me any kind of compliment, like saying I'm pretty or anything."Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. A decade?! Glad to see you're changing gears for the skinny guy who gives good compliments. 'Atta girl!photo courtesy CreativeCommons ©StephenCummings

Wednesdays With Warren: It's A Hard Knocks LIfe

2010-02-17T08:40:00.005+01:00

An interesting excerpt from an interview with Warren Farrell, Ph.D. by J. Steven Svoboda for Men'sWeb: Steven: It seems to me that when I talk about men's issues apart from the company of women, they often get what I'm talking about. To what extent do you think men who aren't in fear of women's reaction can grasp and acknowledge our oppression, our problems? Warren: To the extent that a man

Sex From the City

2010-02-15T09:50:00.001+01:00

He was a film editor from New York City.I met him while I was skiing during my second winter as a single. He was a good skier. He was also interesting, intelligent and humorous - in that Woody Allen-esque neurotic New Yorker kind of way. Sex was great. Among his signature moves: he could pull a pair of lacy panties (mine) off with his teeth. The feat took several minutes. I guess you could

The Sunday Confessional: Line Forms To The Left

2010-02-14T10:38:00.003+01:00

Gabby swung the door of The Sunday Confessional wide open last week.Let's make it a weekly Sunday ritual and roll out some lucky soul's true confession. Line forms to the left. Don't be afraid. You know you want to, so 'fess up!Just send me an email message* or leave a comment to be included - and let me know how you'd like to be acknowledged. (Like any upstanding confessional, we are nothing

Happy Day-Before-Valentine's Day!

2010-02-13T09:22:00.001+01:00

On aphrodisiacs:From this article in the New York Times on foods considered to be aphrodisiacs: "...Yet one widely cited study showed that a 130-pound person would have to eat 25 pounds of chocolate in one sitting to significantly alter the mood..."To which Gabby says: "No problem!" On green sex:In a new twist, now safe sex is also green sex! Wanna save the planet? Here's a little something to

Gabby's Soapbox

2010-02-12T10:29:00.013+01:00

Could we all take a collective deep breath and step away from the tabloid mentality for a moment? In other words, people: Get real!Sneaking into the news recently is the announcement that John Edwards is engaged to Rielle Hunter. The comments about his "scumbag-ness" are too numerous to count. Let it be known, I'm no particular fan of the pretty boy but jeez, give me a break here.There is more

Things People Say Thursday: Didn't You Suggest...?

2010-02-11T08:15:00.003+01:00

The first moment she realizes that he's just not into her:Her (moments after he has critically rebuffed a sexy advance involving little clothing): "But didn't you recently suggest that I cook dinner in the nude?"Him: "Yes. But I didn't say I would be in the kitchen, did I?"CC photo courtesy of CreativeCommons wickedneuron

Introducing Wednesdays With Warren

2010-02-10T08:32:00.000+01:00

In an attempt to offer fair and balanced views here at the Dating Confessional, please welcome Dr. Warren Farrell.Whether you hail from Venus or Mars, check back each Wednesday to get a weekly bit of this particular Martian's view of the dance between the sexes. (In all honesty, Dr. F. doesn't know he's been dragged to the party. I was afraid of too much kicking and screaming.)By way of

To Settle Or Not To Settle?

2010-02-09T08:20:00.002+01:00

Certainly you've heard by now the tempest in a teapot going down around a new book entitled, "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough".In a recent interview with Salon.com, the author, 42-year old (wait 'til she hits my age - single looks pretty appealing from here), Lori Gottlieb was asked the following:Salon.com: " 'Settling' is a powerful word, and it's created a lot of pushback

And So The Ersatz Dating Began

2010-02-08T13:29:00.002+01:00

Soon after my divorce, throwing caution to the wind (and lots of money at a good therapist), I took a risk and followed a delicious impulse. I was entering my bohemian phase and I needed a man to match.

The Sunday Confessional

2010-02-07T10:54:00.007+01:00

True confessions:I used to tell people, with a smile, that I moved to France for the food. But now that the news is out here and here, I must tell the truth:I'm here because the French believe the G-spot exists. (Which might explain the smile.) I left the US because the Tooth Fairy wasn't doing it for me anymore.You're in the Sunday Confessional. Gabby is listening...photo courtesy of

A Smile's Just A Smile

2010-02-06T14:32:00.005+01:00

Heard the news? Men often misinterpret friendliness for flirting. Surprised?Acquiescent behavior was reinforced in the Baby Boomer generation. Exercises that whipped us into shape included: "Smile and kiss your eccentric-toothless-bearded great grandmother before we leave, darling." We're quite skillful when it comes to exhibiting friendly demeanor in unpleasant circumstances.So gentlemen, take

Things People Say Thursday: Me Listen?

2010-02-04T11:45:00.007+01:00

Gentleman to his cross-looking wife: "Okay. So tell me again! When you say it the first time, I just don't think it's that important."photo courtesy CreativeCommons ©katie tegtmeyer

Once Upon A Time...

2010-02-01T12:40:00.001+01:00

Let's back up a bit and give the current dating dilemma some context.Once upon a time...I was married. To a nice Jewish attorney. Bright, ambitious and a great dancer, he rocketed to the top of his fancy-schmancy law firm in record time. For his efforts, he was awarded the coveted title of "partner" - along with tiara, ribbon and suchlike - and continued to produce like a star.Like any lawyer

"Mommy, Where Did I Come From?" Asked the New Blog

2010-01-25T11:00:00.001+01:00

“Another disappointment,” I answered dryly. (This line would ideally be delivered from between lips stained red with last night’s rouge à lèves, a half-burned cigarette dangling from one side of this pursed mouth…no filter, of course. Yikes! That image reminds me too much of my grandmother. We’ll just go with what we’ve got.) About that disappointment. Yes, I was smitten with a doctor from